The bitch is back, sexy fuckers. Ohhhh yeah,  I just wrote some swears and I think I deserve a parade.

I ran The Cheeky Housewife and if I followed you from this site, it means I know and adore you. And also, it means that I know that you know. YOU KNOW the hell of being a small town girl living in a lonely world. I had to get out from under that blog because:

  1. Iʻm no longer a housewife.
  2. And if I was, Iʻd be The Raging Housewife, not so much Cheeky. Shitʻs getting too real up in this country. Iʻm a freaking raw nerve what with 400 years of not reconciling with this shit.
  3. I have a cush job that will last less than a year but just enough time to pay off pretty much everything. Almost. Damn mortgage. So again, not a housewife. More like a shiftless, lazy,  barely working wife. . . youʻre jealous and thatʻs ok. Just donʻt bash this piece of chub because I WILL . . .  eat cake.
  4. Too many of my damn neighbors knew about that blog. The looks, the stares, the impulse I had to flip them off in churches and schools and other public places when they looked and stared. Too much.

So I would just like to say. . . welcome, mothers and fuckers. I canʻt wait to be back in touch with old friends and also make some new ones. I missed you guys!!

This blog was created so that I could share my very weird, very random, kind of mean thoughts and rants and do so with some anonymity. Did I spell that right?

My spelling is atrocious. As is my grammar. Fragments and run-ons. Itʻs how I roll. Fuck you.

Love and Light,

The Rural Bitch Slapper (but you can call me Al)